No daddy, just mommy.

I never knew my father.

My mom told me he passed away when I was just turning 2. My mother had to be both a mom and a dad to me. It is interesting as I reflect on what the concept of a father means to me and I am ever so grateful to my mom for playing both parts. While she technically can never be my dad, that’s who I look to for fatherly advice in life.

2 years ago — 1 note

Love knows no boundaries.

It’s been almost 3 years since my dad passed away. It’s funny how time seems to fly by and yet not move forward at all. I can almost still hear his voice giving me advice when I’m stuck in a quandary. Even though he is physically no longer with me, I still feel comforted by the time I had with him prior to his death, and it is those memories that will continue to form his presence in my heart.

Wherever you are dad, know that you are dearly missed.

2 years ago

Dear Daddy

Thanks for always keeping a special place in your heart for me and 弟弟 even though you travelled so often! As much as we love the souvenirs you bring back from your travels, there is nothing we love more than having you back home in Singapore! Flying planes might be your first love, but we know family is equally important! Thanks for inspiring us to take to the skies as well.

♥ Daughter

2 years ago

My dad and I are not the sort that openly show our emotions toward each other. Typically conservative Chinese. But I do know that he does express his love to me by the littles of things, like giving me a car ride, and the few conversations we share when we are in the car. Thank you pa for being the quiet but yet sturdy pillar of strength :)

2 years ago

Hi Dad,

Looking at my baby photos, I realised that you have never carried me. Perhaps this is why our relationship is not as close even until today. But nonetheless, I know you care much and have worked so very hard to raise brother and I. I hope one day I am able to repay you and give you a good life in your old age.

Your youngest son

2 years ago

Dear Father,

I find it hard to imagine and accept that you’re getting older, and to know that one day you might actually leave us. These few years I’ve heard you complain about how your eyesight is failing you, and sometimes it pains me in that moment to think of how you’ve aged since my first memory of you. But most of the time, within seconds I’m back staring at my iPhone, lost in my own world. I know by saying all this nothing will change, so I’m going to take you out for lunch this Sunday for a start. Hopefully I can start taking care of you the way you have brilliantly taken care of me all this while.

2 years ago

How I know my father loves me:

  1. I always manage to get a really good score when I play badminton with him even though my skills are atrocious and he is a fantastic player.
  2. On the rare days I’m home early, he hovers by my room door and finds the most random things to comment on about my room.
  3. He is always subtly hostile to the boys I bring home.
  4. He lets my siblings and I play (and sing at the top of our lungs to Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber and Katy Perry in the car even though he must be positively tormented.
  5. Before I go on a trip, he acts like I’m on my own but always comes up with an indirect reason to give me money.

Sometimes I choose not to understand or notice what his actions mean, but deep down I do. Thanks dad :)

2 years ago

Hi Lao Ba! There isn’t much I need to say that I wished I could have told you, because it’s all mostly been said. From my continuous pestering for more of your life stories, to the gratitude I hold for molding me into what I am today, it’s all thanks to you. It’s also a testament to you that we share such a good relationship, and it’s something to be treasured.

Please take more time to rest. Should be easier now that you don’t have to be a chauffeur everyday, so stay healthy and enjoy your retirement! We’ll drive around more often and go on food trips around Singapore, and I aim to help you break your poor track record of often selecting the less-than-best-food available!

2 years ago

My father had always pushed me to go overseas to study, knowing how broken Indonesia is in terms of higher education. February 2006, the day I finally told him I got the scholarship that gave me the ticket to Singapore, he said how he was both happy and apprehensive, for someone like me who was so much attached to home, mommy, and daddy. Only later I found out he actually was losing sleep over it. Funny, because in front of me he was always the one who maintains a strong facade.

Fast forward 6 years later, I hope he can see that the bird has indeed left his nest, flew safely onwards to pursue his own dreams.


2 years ago
(Photo of me that my dad took during the commissioning parade. Note there’s no one else around because people were still walking over.)

Dear Dad,

I just wanted to say that even though I’ve only thanked you for all your support and dedication at milestones in my life (Secondary School Graduation, Commissioning), there isn’t a day that passes that I am not thankful for being blessed with such a wonderful dad. The most touching moment was during my commissioning parade. It’s often said by instructors that on this day, your family is there to see you commission as an officer. Nothing else matters, not whether there’s a minister around, or who got the sword of honour (Best Cadet Award). During my commissioning parade, my family got there 2 hours earlier than stated so they could get the best possible seats. And when it was time for them to come down to the parade square to put the ranks on my shoulders, you were the first one on the parade square, walking over as fast as you could, with the biggest smile on you face. I will never forget that beaming face as you snapped photos of me standing at attention in my uniform.  

This is the standout moment but there are plenty along the years where you served as my cook, chauffeur, cleaner, gaming buddy, mechanic, repairman, interior designer, contractor, guidance counselor, confidante, friend and discipline master. Here’s to everything you have done for me - THANKS DAD!

2 years ago